Entry tags:

fic: taming the weasleys, hermione/percy, lavender/charlie, rating: adult

Taming the Weasleys - 2/11 - Adult - Percy/Hermione, Charlie/Lavender
Title: Taming the Weasleys (2/11)
Author: silvernatasha
Rating: Adult
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Summary: Despite their mother's nagging, Charlie and Percy Weasley are perfectly happy being single and have no intention of settling down and getting married. The women in their lives, however, have other ideas.
Ships: Percy/Hermione, Charlie/Lavender, slight Charlie/Angelina, slight Fred/Angelina.
A/N: Written for midsummerfest and loosely based on Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew. View the dramatis personae here.
Word Count: 2362.

Chapter Two: In Which the Plotting Begins

“Right. My round. Who wants another drink?” Charlie made to stand up, looking at the others expectantly. Ron and Hermione seemed to be taking their time getting there, and Charlie wasn’t really one to wait before getting in another round. Besides, it would be Ron’s fault if he missed out on Charlie’s generosity.

“Same again,” Angelina announced, waggling her nearly-empty glass. Katie nodded and beamed at Charlie.

“I’ll come with you to carry them,” Percy offered, following Charlie over to the bar.

As they walked away, Katie and Angelina took the opportunity to engage in a little discreet arse-ogling. Katie gave a growl of frustration. “I can’t believe you get to work with Charlie every day.”

Angelina flashed her a smug smile. “I get to see him all hot and sweaty and dishevelled. Just like he’s tumbled straight out of bed. Mmm.” She ran her finger around the rim of her glass, mentally conjuring up an image of Charlie coming into the staff room after dealing with the dragons.

“Sometimes,” she said dreamily, “he strips off his shirt right then and there. And he’s just wearing this little vest underneath. And it kind of clings to his body. All those muscles…”

“Bitch. I can’t believe you get to see that.” Katie frowned. “He’s not going to go out with either of us, though. You do know that, don’t you?”

“What makes you say that?”

“Because he doesn’t want a serious relationship and neither of us want to just fuck around.”

Angelina licked her lips. “I don’t know,” she said thoughtfully, dwelling on the image of a sweaty vest-clad Charlie. “I could fuck around for him.”

Katie sighed. “No, you wouldn’t. I hate one-night stands and when you’re drunk you repeatedly tell me how much you love the security of relationships.” She finished what was left of her drink. “In vino veritas and all that shit.”

“I haven’t been in a serious relationship since…” Angelina narrowed her eyes, trying to remember. “Since Fred Weasley. I know he’s Charlie’s brother and everything, and so it’s probably wrong on some level that I’m attracted to Charlie, but that was before the war.”

“What about Marcus?”

“A six month mistake.” Angelina waved her hand dismissively.

“Yeah, but you liked the security, didn’t you? Not having to worry about who you were going to spend your Friday night with. Not wondering where your next shag was coming from.”

Angelina sniffed indignantly. “You make me sounds like I all I think about is sex.” She cast a glance over at the bar watching as Charlie and Percy were finally served. “What are we going to do, then? I don’t mind competing with you for him, but if he’s not interested then it’s all a bit pointless, really.”

Katie chewed on her bottom lip, considering the situation. “You heard what Charlie said. He won’t get into a serious relationship until Percy does.”

“So?”

“So,” Katie raised her eyebrows mischievously. “We just have to get Percy into a serious relationship.”

---

Ron tapped his foot impatiently. “Come on, Hermione. What’s taking so long? I bet we’ll get there and it’ll just so happen to be my turn to buy a round of drinks.”

Glaring at him, Hermione hopped out of the spare bedroom, struggling to put her shoe on. “Keep your hair on! I’m nearly ready.” She stood up straight, brushing down her robes. “Fine. There. How’s my hair?”

“As good as it normally is.”

“That bad?” She frowned and ran her hair through her unruly curls. “Oh, well. I suppose it’ll have to do.” Hermione reached for her cloak. “You know, it’s not my fault. I’m still running an hour ahead on French time and you took me out last night. Didn’t get to bed until three. I’m disorientated.”

Hermione wrinkled her nose, securing the last button on her cloak. “What was I drinking last night, anyway?”

“Buggered if I know.” Ron shrugged. He was just glad that he’d had plenty of hangover potion on hand.

“Where are we going for lunch, anyway?” Hermione asked, eyeing the way that Ron was tapping his foot. He stopped, blushing slightly.

“Leaky Cauldron. I think Char and Perce were bringing a couple of friends. That okay?”

“Fine by me. It’s a shame that Harry couldn’t join us, though.”

Ron nodded. “I know. But he’s got to work. We’ll see him later, though.”

---

“Oh, please, Parvati. I set you up with that wizard Jeremy. Think of this as repaying the favour.” Lavender clasped her hands together in a prayer-like manner, her eyes wide. “Please?”

Parvati smirked slightly, remembering Jeremy. “Oh, yes,” she mused. “Jeremy. Cold hands, but a nice cock. Very well-endowed. Mmmm.”

Lavender giggled, running a hand through her dark hair. Maybe a haircut would make me look more mature? “I see you’ve got your priorities in the right order.” Lifting up her glass to see if she could see her reflection, Lavender pulled her hair back, wondering if a shorter haircut would look more sophisticated. On second thoughts, it just made her look younger, and that wouldn’t be a good move.

Shrugging, Parvati said, “Well, a girl’s got to have a bit of fun.”

“Exactly,” agreed Lavender, nodding and setting her glass down. “Isn’t the whole point of finding me a man for me to have some fun?” She glanced longingly at the bar, licking her lips. “And I want lots of naughty naked fun with him.”

“Naughty naked fun, eh?” Parvati studied the redhead for a moment, sipping her drink thoughtfully as she appreciated the view of his arse. Nice tight jeans, a bit worn. The trainers looked a bit dodgy; there was something a bit tragic about a man with bad shoes. Then again, Lavender probably wasn’t looking too closely at his shoes - she had never been too brilliant at picking good footwear. No, shoes were Parvati’s domain, thank you very much.

Lavender scowled as she spotted where Parvati’s eyes had landed. “Hands off, Parvati. I saw him first.”

Parvati waved her hand dismissively. “I don’t do redheads.” She wrinkled her nose. Pale skin and red hair would clash completely with her complexion. “You got any cigarettes?”

“I’ve given up.”

“I’ve heard that before.” Parvati raised her eyebrows suspiciously, as though she expected to find a packet of cigarettes if she rifled through Lavender’s handbag. Not that she would. Handbags were sacred and were not to be touched unless there was an emergency. Like running out of lipgloss.

“It’s true! I need to present a mature, healthy attitude if I want to get this promotion.” Lavender gave her a rather superior look, although she couldn’t hold it for very long. Sighing, she sipped her drink. It was hard to ignore the nicotine cravings, especially in the smoky atmosphere of the Leaky Cauldron. She was starting to wish that they’d chosen somewhere different for lunch, but they had already ordered their food.

Wrinkling her nose, Parvati looked somewhat doubtfully at her friend. “It won’t last.” By her count, this was the third time that Lavender had tried to give up smoking. Needless to say, the first two times had not been successful.

Lavender looked longing over at the next table as Charlie and Percy rejoined the two women, taking a sip of her drink. She swallow, watching her muscle-bound Weasley run his hand through his hair. “Maybe I’ll get myself a new habit.”

“A new habit?”

Nodding, Lavender sipped her drink, a rather brightly coloured cocktail that was far more potent than it tasted. “Yes. I think I could manage to do him several times a day.” She giggled, picturing the muscles hidden beneath the clothes. If the arms were anything to go by, the rest of him would make a rather attractive picture when coupled with her bed.

Parvati sighed. “What do you want me to do?”

“I don’t know.” Lavender frowned - now would be a very nice time for a cigarette. “You’re friends with Ron, aren’t you? You work with him? Can’t you… do something?”

“There are many things that I will do for you,” Parvati said, shaking her head. “I’ll hold your hair back as you puke into the toilet, I’ll curl your hair for you, I’ll get you inside gossip from the magazine. But I will not sleep with Ron Weasley so that you can get to his brother.”

Lavender’s face was a picture of horror. “God, Parvati. No.” She shuddered. “I would never wish Ron Weasley on anyone.” Frowning, she lowered her voice in case anyone at the next table heard her. “Terrible kisser. Over-enthusiastic. A bit slobbery, actually. And don’t get me started on his tongue. He seriously did not know what to do with it.”

She paused, looking rather disgusted. “God. He never went down on me, but… urgh. I can just imagine what a disaster he would be. Urgh. Well, he used to be like that, anyway. If I hadn’t been half in love with him, I would have dumped him in a second.”

Parvati pulled a face, glad that she hadn’t started eating yet. “I didn’t need to know all that.” She liked to think of Ron Weasley as strictly asexual.

“Sorry.” Lavender blushed, realising that she’d probably gone a little overboard.

“That’s alright.” Parvati drummed her fingers on the table, trying to think what she could do. “I suppose I could try and get a little more friendly with Ron. Try and find out what sort of stuff his brother’s into. Where he goes.”

Lavender grinned. “Really?”

“For you, yes.” She sipped her drink. “You owe me.”

“You haven’t done anything yet,” Lavender pointed out.

“Fine. You’ll owe me once you’re having your naughty naked fun with Mr Muscle Arms. ”

With a squeal of excitement, Lavender reached over, hugging Parvati tightly. “Thank you.”

---

Hermione gazed around the Leaky Cauldron in amazement as she stepped inside. “I think it’s been three years since I was last here, and this place hasn’t changed a bit.” She smiled at Tom the barkeeper, who was polishing a glass and talking to a wizard in a purple top hat. He inclined his head in greeting, enforcing Hermione’s theory that he never forgot a customer.

“Hey! Perce, Char!” Ron waved at his brothers, pushing Hermione in the direction of their table. “Angelina, Katie. You’re both looking lovely today.”

Katie rolled her eyes. “You don’t have to flatter us, Ron. We’ve forgiven you for mooning us at the Halloween party.”

A fierce blush spread over Ron’s cheeks. “Uh. Yeah. Okay.”

Angelina elbowed Katie. “Hey, I like the compliments.” She grinned at Ron. “You can carry on with the praise if you want.”

“Actually, he’s going to go and get Hermione a drink, aren’t you?” Charlie suggested.

“Yes, Hermione!” Katie patted the seat next to her. “Come and sit with us and tell us all about all those hunky French men you’ve been seducing.”

Laughing, Hermione sat down, looking hopefully up at Ron. “Can I just have a glass of medium white wine?” She smiled at him and he nodded, skulking off to the bar. She knew that she couldn’t drink wine very fast, so one glass would last quite a while. “I’m afraid there haven’t been any men in my life for a while,” she admitted, “let alone hunky French ones.”

“Do we have to talk about relationships and men?” Percy asked, sounding rather bored.

“Would you rather talk about business, Percy?” Angelina asked with a scowl.

“Yes, actually. I don’t have quite the same interest in men that you do.”

“You would want to talk about business,” retorted Angelina. “Mr I’ve-got-more-money-than-I-know-what-to-do-with.”

Charlie cleared his throat, hoping to dissolve some of the tension that had suddenly mounted. “Tell you what, why don’t you take a quick look at the menu, Hermione? I think we’re all ready to order and Ron never takes long to choose his food.”

“No, I suppose he doesn’t,” Hermione agreed, picking up the menu. The menu hadn’t changed at all since her last visit and it didn’t take long to choose something.

“Right. Come on, Perce. I’m never going to remember everything. Let’s leave the girls so that they can talk about us.” With a wink and a grin, Charlie gave Percy a push and they headed off to join Ron at the bar.

Angelina sipped her drink, surveying Hermione carefully. “So what brings you back to England, then? Looking for a home-grown hunk to take back to France?”

Hermione rolled her eyes. “Not everything in my life is about men and sex.” She frowned slightly. “Unfortunately. No, it’s really a business trip, but I’m staying for a while. Thought I’d have a proper English Christmas.”

“And what business is that?

“It’s none of your business.” Hermione bit her lip. “Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I’m trying to find an investor for my business and… look, it’s my day off. I really don’t like talking about business on my day off.”

Angelina and Katie exchanged a look. Angelina nodded and Katie smiled broadly. “Hermione,” she said slowly. “How do you feel about redheads?”

Hermione blinked. “Um. I’m not entirely sure what you mean.” She wished that Ron would hurry up with her drink; Angelina and Katie were intimidating her slightly.

“What Katie’s trying to say,” Angelina with a grin, “is that Percy is one of the richest wizards you will ever meet.”

Glancing over at the bar, Hermione frowned. “Are you sure?”

“Positive. Percy owns Playwizard.”

If Hermione had had her drink, she had no doubt that she would have snorted it out her nose. This revelation was certainly a turn-up for the books. “Percy owns a… porn magazine?”

“You don’t believe us, do you?” Angelina grinned. “He won it in a poker game a couple of years ago. That’s the real reason he left the Ministry. Not stress or whatever he told his parents.” Her grin turned wicked. “They still don’t have a clue.”

Katie smiled. “Are you interested?”

Hermione studied Percy carefully, lips twisting into a smirk. If anyone had a good poker face, it would be Percy Weasley. Yes, she believed them, despite how strange it seemed. “Definitely.”